Math for dummies :)

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

>>

>>Smart man + smart woman = romance

>>

>>Smart man + dumb woman = affair

>>

>>Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

>>

>>Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

>>

>>______________________________

>>

>>OFFICE ARITHMETIC

>>

>>Smart boss + smart employee = profit

>>

>>Smart boss + dumb employee = production

>>

>>Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

>>

>>Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

>>

>>_____________________________

>>

>>SHOPPING MATH

>>

>>A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.

>>

>>A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn’t need.

>>

>>_____________________________

>>

>>GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

>>

>>A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

>>

>>A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

>>

>>A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

>>

>>A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

>>

>>_____________________________

>>

>>HAPPINESS

>>

>>To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a

>>little.

>>

>>To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to

>>understand her at all.

>>

>>______________________________

>>

>>LONGEVITY

>>

>>Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot

>>more willing to die.

>>

>>______________________________

>>

>>PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

>>

>>A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

>>

>>A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

>>

>>_____________________________

>>

>>DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

>>

>>A woman has the last word in any argument.

>>

>>Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

>>

>>_____________________________

>>

>>HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

>>

>>Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and

>>cackling, telling me, “You’re next.” They stopped after I started doing

>>the same thing to them at funerals.

>>

>

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