Choosing a wife

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make-up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man.  She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he’d given her.

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Men are like that, you know.

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.


Leftover mash up

We went out a few times  and I brought a lot of food home, so the other day was leftover mash up.  I needed to clean out the fridge, and I didn’t feel like cooking.  I also didn’t want to throw anything away.  The secret to the left over mashup is to bring it all out and let everyone pick and choose what they want.  Like a pot luck, saves time in the kitchen, reduces waste, and everyone gets what they want.

So I had some salad and 1/2 a chicken from the BBQ place, had some potatoes and biscuits from the steak place, had rice, hummus, bread and few few chucks of chicken from the Persian place.  We also picked up a few chicken breasts and legs from the store.

My son had some bread & rice from the Persian Place and the 1/2 chicken from the bbq place.  My husband had bread & rice Persian place and chicken breasts from the store, I had the few left over chicken chunks from the Persian place, potatoes and biscuits from the stead place and some salad from the bbq place.

We were all full, I didn’t have to cook, and I got rid of a bunch of leftovers without having to resort to throwing them away.

Plus I still have some food left for lunch 🙂